Devotion
by CMW2
Summary: Devotion-n.:1.earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc. 2. the everlasting bond between Fitzgerald Grant III and Olivia Pope;This is what I would I love to see happen in the aftermath of Liv being Liv-napped;UNABASHEDLY OLITZ;Rated for language, imagery, and a bit of spice for the folks back home;SPOILERS FOR THE WINTER PREMIERE AND OTHER EPS WITHIN;3rd in my 2015 SSS Project


**Author's Note: My full thoughts on the 4B Premiere will be in **_**Shattering**_**'s next A/N. All I'll say here is that it wasn't nearly as horrifying as I thought it would be and I enjoyed it being mainly in Liv's POV. SCANDAL is the Olivia Pope show with everyone else orbiting around her and I'm glad to see the episode format returning to that instead of just wantonly propping up the nonfactor characters with impunity. Anyway, this idea struck me and it won't let go. I figure that something like this could happen in the aftermath of this kidnap/rescue plotline. I may be wrong (actually I'm sure I'm wrong) but it's still a nice Citrus with Substance (aka PWP) idea to play with. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"**

**Devotion-**_**n**_**.: 1. ****earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.**

Since recuperating long term in a civilian hospital wasn't feasible (and the last places she wanted to return to were a military base or her apartment), Olivia Pope had been staying in Abby Whelan's spare bedroom for the last month and a half. She was on a cocktail of antibiotics, a special diet that got her body used to real food again, and she was willingly taking an anti anxiety medication, along with a light sedative to help her sleep without many nightmares. She was also keeping a sketchbook diary again, writing and drawing out every stray thought, every raging demon, every cold insecurity and sweet dream…

Andrew Nichols and Lizzie North had been the masterminds behind her being abducted. She had been selected as the shatterpoint to President Fitzgerald Grant III, the one thing that he would do anything to protect, even declare a war that they so desperately wanted with West Angola. They had expected him to roll over and her to break, to urge him to do what they demanded so that she could be set free.

The pair of masterminds had underestimated both of them. Olivia hadn't broken and instead of declaring a war on West Angola, Fitz had declared a war on _**them**_. He had taken away their power by coming completely clean about why she was Taken. He had told the American People, the World, the whole truth about just who she was to him and with the help of her remaining Gladiators plus Cyrus Beene, managed to Spin the story not as a torrid Hemmings/Jefferson reboot but as an epic, beautiful, and near tragic at times love story. Not content to have a storm in a tea cup, he had filed for divorce and immediately had thrown Mellie under the bus via one exclusive interview with Karen Grant.

A still venomous Karen had been all too eager to talk about what she had seen between her mother and the now disgraced Vice President. She had also talked about how she felt being sent away to boarding school, hearing all of the arguments, and how she just wanted to have one happy parent instead of two miserable ones. She wanted her older brother to be able to rest in peace seeing from heaven that she and Teddy would be able to have stability at long last…

The now 15 year old was still angry, very angry and sad but if she had to choose which parent played the biggest role in her stunted childhood and the aura of misery that hung around the Grant family (before and after Olivia came along, before and especially after Gerry's murder), she chose Mellie and it reflected in every word. The gallons of tears she had cried were a nice touch, too.

By the end of the hour, the People were baying for Mellie and Andrew's blood. Lizzie being cutthroat and callous Lizzie had turned on her partner and gave up everything, including where Olivia was and who had her. A rogue former B613 trainer named Ian McCullough was her remaining captor and one hell of an actor. Up until her first "successful" escape attempt, she thought that he was another captive that had been murdered by their tormentors. No. Mr. McCullough had been alive and well.

Mr. McCullough hadn't cared less about a profitable war in West Angola or even hurting Fitzgerald Grant, the man. What he wanted was Command's daughter under his control and under his tutelage. He wanted to take her, break her down, and rebuild her as the ultimate weapon against threats to America. He wanted the ultimate weapon against Rowan himself.

He had always bitterly resented the no families/children rule in B613 and the fact that Command made exceptions for Olivia to be born and free had always chafed him. The wife and child that he had created in their shared cell were the wife and child that he had always wanted but never gotten to have, thanks to Rowan. Once he had heard whispers in the Underground about taking her for ransom, he had inserted himself into the operation eagerly. He would either train her or just sell her into human trafficking. Either way, he'd accomplish the revenge he longed for…

The whole twisted and terrifying time, Fitz had never stopped looking for her.

He had never given up on her before, even during the worst breakup between them.

She had known that he would never give up on her.

He would never leave her to be tortured, raped, and killed by god knows who, not while he was alive and sound.

He would find her.

He loved her.

She was the love of his life and he would not give up on her.

She had known all of those facts deep in her Gut, deep in her bones and soul so she had been able to her hope alive.

Huck mentioned that he had taken to cyber snooping like a duck to water and Abby told her that Cyrus had spiked one of his numerous mugs of coffee with a sedative just to get him to sleep. When Jake Ballard tried to take the lead on the search, the dismissal from him had been icy calm and utterly brutal. He was useful only as cannon fodder or a human shield. After all, if he had been a halfway decent operative, then she wouldn't been taken so easily, now would she? He had been so concerned about his ego, saving his own skin from Rowan's wrath, and about winning and getting laid that he had allowed the woman that he claimed to adore to be Taken right from under his nose.

He expected to be put on the extraction team? He expected to be trusted with crucial elements of the rescue plans? He could forget it. There was no time or room for his special brand of incompetence anymore. He could help but it would be basic things that not even a 4 year old could screw up. If he drifted out of his lane, Huck had Presidential permission to do whatever he pleased to the man save killing him.

Fitz wanted that privilege for himself or he'd just leave it to Rowan Pope when the dust settled.

When the aforementioned Rowan had offered his help in searching after 2 weeks, Fitz had graciously accepted but with the caveat that he was to be monitored 24/7 with a gun to be trained on the man's head at all times (which had eventually become Jake Ballard's role in the rescue plan). At the first sign of him having anything to do with her abduction, he was to be shot dead on the spot. There was already a bullet with his name on it for Gerry and for the sins against her in the past. The only reason that he was alive was because he had proven to be useful when it counted and Olivia deserved to have the best people searching for her. As evil as he was, as paternally and emotionally inept as Rowan Pope was, he was still one of the best people out there to deal with the Underground and for quick extractions.

After Lizzie had rolled over to save her own skin, a joint Special Forces and B613 extraction team had been sent in, only to find Ian McCullough shot dead with Olivia long gone, having escaped the bunker on her own. She had been found in the hotwired truck 50 miles away in the desert, out of gas, nearly out of water and delirious from exhaustion…

There was silence and Olivia opened her right eye questioningly.

"…do you need a break?"

"_No._"

"All right. We are officially homestretching. Everything's filled in. It's all about the finishing touches now."

The noise resumed and Olivia closed her eye again, gritting her teeth at the now familiar stinging buzz of the tattoo needle on her flesh.

_**Needlepoint**_ was one of the best tattoo and piercing parlors in the country. They worked on celebrities and diplomats just as easily as private citizens. The prices were reasonable and the facility was clean and comfortable, the décor made up of cool neutrals, soft lighting, and well made furniture.

The leather mat that she was currently prone on felt buttery soft against her bare torso and smelled of expensive polish, even blended with the smells of disinfectant, sweat, ink, and a bit of blood. Her thin white tank top and large purple hooded heather style cardigan were folded as a pillow and she wore baby soft cashmere gray pants, the same cashmere of her pink knee socks. Instead of mile high heels, she wore a variety of colorful flats or her now standard shoes: a pair of black, fur lined Ugg boots. She still felt odd wearing a bra so she went without it. Going without panties was not an option for her. Her panties, all of her remaining clothing in the bunker had been like armor to her, a figurative security blanket against the monsters, both real and imagined.

She actually had a literal security blanket. She didn't carry it everywhere like Linus but sleeping or lounging without it was out of the question. Fitz had sent it with Abby when she had arrived to the air force base. He had sent clean clothes, all of her favorite toiletries, two Cookies and Cream Hershey's bars the size of her head, and a large plush blanket in her favorite color of midnight blue. After a hot water depleting shower, she had wrapped herself in it and slept for 36 hours straight, deeply comforted by the cocktail of Gain, Bvlgari Green, Aqua Velva, and sandalwood that made up Fitz's scent. Fitz's scent…Fitz's arms… Fitz's lips…Fitz…she hadn't been able to see him yet. She had talked on the phone with him but her recuperation and the aftermath of him thoroughly outing them kept them from reconnecting as she ached to…

The stinging buzz stopped and she slowly raised her head, looking over her shoulder at Ava "Dizzy" Benson who was removing her gloves. Slowly, Olivia took out her earbuds and sat up on her knees.

"_I'm done?_"

"Yes, you are, sweetheart. Would you like to see?"

_**/**_

**3 Weeks Later…**

"So, this whole time with you being inexplicably gone for hours…you've been getting inked?

"Yeah. What did you think I was doing, Abby?"

"Getting ready to run off to Exile Island in the dead of night again, dealing with your psycho dad in name only, or getting it on with Jake on the down low…he's been calling me and the others looking for you, by the way. Apparently, you changed your number and he can't get through."

"I didn't change my number. I just had Huck make it look like I changed it. I don't want to see or talk to Jake."

"Does that mean that you're choosing Fitz, Liv? I mean, it's your life and choice but I hope you are. Jake's an okay guy but Fitz is way better for you long-term and he really, really, _**really**_ loves you. Like crazy, set the world on fire and giggle about it, donate a kidney, loves you. He's getting a divorce, you know. It'll be final on Friday."

"I know. Mellie visited me after the news broke. She wanted me to try and talk him out of it again. I told her that I was tired of fighting battles that shouldn't be fought by me. I also told her that if she could genuinely say that she and Fitz staying together would be a good thing, discounting the Politics and me and Andrew and god knows who else, then I'd help her. She just looked at me and walked away."

"Good. I never liked that bitch, anyway."

"If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that lately…you want to see the tattoo? It's healed now."

"Sure. Wait, it's not on your ass, is it?"

"No. It's goes from the middle of my back and follows my side to just above my ass."

"…oh, wow…Liv, it's gorgeous…"

"I think so, too."

_**/**_

**2:15AM EST…**

"What are you doing in my office this late?"

"Huck called and told me you were coming in so I wanted to make sure that you're okay. I wasn't able to get on the base because…"

"…I didn't want to see you. There was a list of approved visitors and I didn't put you on it. I don't know why you're here, Jake but you need to go. I have paperwork to catch up on and 4 incoming Clients next week. I need to be ready for them."

"Olivia…"

"You need to go. Thank you for helping to find me. I appreciate it but you need to go."

"…so, you're choosing _**him.**_"

"Fitz doesn't have anything to do with this decision. I haven't seen him or really talked to him since I got back stateside."

"But, you want to see him? You want to talk to him and be with him, still? After everything you went through? Do you still love him?"

"Yes."

"How the hell can you still love him?!"

"I don't know. I just do. Jake, I care about you but I don't love you. I never said that I loved anyone other than Fitz. I was with you to try and move on. I was with you because I didn't want Rowan hurting Fitz anymore than he already has. I was with you to protect him. I was with you because it was convenient. I was with you because I felt guilty for loving and screwing a married man. I was with you because I was lonely and the man I really wanted couldn't be with me because of circumstances that I helped engineer. I was with you for all the wrong reasons and you deserve better than to be a second choice. Being Taken was both the worst and the best thing to ever happen to me. It was horrible because I was certain that I was going to die at times but it also helped me realize that I really _**can**_ take of myself. I always said that I could but there was always someone right there to take the brunt of whatever happened. Not in the Bunker. There was no guardian angel. There was no prompt rescue with blazing guns and stoic heroes. All I had over there was me and it was terrifying. That terror eventually turned into strength that I want to keep. It…being Taken also made me realize that I deserve to be happy. I am worthy of happiness and I want it bad."

"I can make you happy, Olivia. I _**did**_ make you happy."

"Briefly but I want happiness that's going to last. I want permanence. I want stability. I want clarity. I want…I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. I've _**always**_ wanted that kind of love but I never felt worthy of having it and I ran away from it like a coward in the past. Well, I'm tired of running away. I'm tired of settling for less than what I deserve and I'm definitely tired of lying to myself and others about what I want and who I want to be. I want to be the best version of myself that I can be. I want to be truly happy and to be loved and I know how to make it happen. I know who can make it happen: Me. I can make it happen on my own and with Fitz's help."

"And he's really who you want? He's the one you love?"

"Yes, he is. He always has been and he always will be until the day I die."

"What makes you think that he won't leave or hurt you yet again?"

"Don't you stand there and act like you've never hurt me, Jake. There's a minor concussion in my medical history and a dent in the conference room wall that says otherwise. Need I remind you that you and I would've never met if Rowan hadn't assigned you to seduce me in the first place? You said that you were acting under the President's orders to monitor me and that's true. That's right up Fitz's alley. He had people tailing me all of the time when I was with Edison Davis. But, you weren't acting under the President's orders when you flirted with me. You weren't acting under the President's orders when you taped us having sex, taped me while I was alone in my apartment. No. That was you being an efficient little B613 Puppet, one that you still are, by the way. And let's be really honest here: there are only two reasons that you're so determined to make a life with me. You still want to use me as a guaranteed way to one-up Fitz or you're hoping that being with me will save your skin from Rowan's wrath like it did last time. Newsflash, Jake: Rowan and I are completely finished. He's cut off all of his loving protection and whatever I say to him falls on deaf ears so if he wants to get rid of you now, nothing I say or do will stop him."

"This isn't about fearing Rowan or one-upping Fitz! I want to be with you because I love you!"

"That may be true but the two scenarios I just listed still trumps whatever love you feel for me and we both know it, Jake. You need to go. I don't want to see you again. I don't want to be with you anymore. I don't love you, I will never love you, and you need to go. Go back to the island, go back home to Indiana with your mom, or just go and stand in the sun someplace new with someone else…I really don't care. Just go and please don't come back. Go now."

"Olivia…"

"Get out."

"Olivia, please…"

"Get out, Jake! Just leave!"

"If I leave, I'm not coming back!"

"I understand and accept that! That's what I want from you! Now, get the hell out! **Get out of my office, get out of DC, and get out of my life while you still have yours! **You may not have killed Gerry and Harrison but I'm sure that there is still some blood on your hands and a lot of people wanting revenge for that blood. You should get out of their line of fire."

_**/**_

**4 Days Later…**

"I need to see him. I'm going to see him. Get out of my way, Cyrus."

"Liv, I know that you're still fragile and recovering but I need you to…"

"**Get out of my way, Cyrus.**"

"We _**barely**_ stayed in office! It's only because of Mellie and Andrew's literal sloppiness that he didn't get impeached! People are still upset for him covering up his…whatever the hell you two have called yourselves doing for the last 6 years and yes, I know that he's divorced as of 12:01AM today and I know that you kicked Ballard to the curb on Monday…"

"Who told you that?"

"Huck was in your firm when you ended it in case Ballard wouldn't take no for an answer and he told Mighty Mouse who told Red who told me."

"Mighty Mouse?"

"Quinn or Lindsay or whatever the hell her name is this week…Liv, it's too soon for you two be together. I told him that it was too soon last night but he insisted on going 'Home' to wait for you, wherever the hell that is and he…"

"He's up in Vermont. There's…he built a house up there. That's where Home is and he's waiting for me to join him. I'm going to him."

"He built you a house in Vermont?"

"He built _**us**_ a house in Vermont. Get out of my way, Cyrus. I have a helicopter to catch."

_**/**_

As soon as Marine One touched down, she was out and running as fast as her legs would take her.

Fitz was standing at the bottom of the front stairs just like last time but unlike it, she nearly bowled him over in a greeting hug. He held her to him tightly and one of them, both of them sobbed as she melted against him, resting her head right where his heart pounded. He was in jeans again and had an open red flannel shirt layered over a black long sleeved top. He looked just like the piano photograph in her Dream…

His lips pressed tenderly against her brow and she looked up at him as he brought her hands up to kiss.

"I've missed you _**so**_ much, Livvie…how are you?"

"I'm getting better every day. I've missed you too. I…we need to talk but I want to show you something first."

The House looked even better than the last time she was here. It had been cleaned and the beginnings of interior decorating like throw pillows had been added. One of the things Olivia looked forward to was continuing the process with her Fitz and he was her Fitz, now. Hopefully…although he had confessed to being in love with her (_**adoring**_ her), although he was finally, mercifully divorced and she had sent Jake packing for good, nothing was guaranteed. She had to hear for herself that he still wanted her, that he still loved her, and that he still wanted a life with her.

Once she had that confirmation again, not only would she believe but she would finally act in accordance to that belief this time. Olivia had meant every word she said to Jake in her office. She was tired of running away and she was tired of being unhappy on her own and in her relationships. She was tired of all the doubts and the mainly self inflicted roller coaster insane back and forth between her and Fitz.

A good first step to breaking the self defeating cycle for good was to do something new or rather to do what she should've always done and to be where she should've always been: right by Fitzgerald Grant III's side.

Her suitcase was placed on one of the couches and she smiled as he passed her a glass of sparkling lemon water. Due to the medications she was still on, she avoided alcohol now. She had mentioned it in passing during one of the brief phone calls they had been able to have and he remembered.

He always remembered…

"How does it feel to be a divorcee?"

"Liberating. What did you want to show me?"

Taking a deep breath for courage, she removed her white overcoat and turned around, slowly dragging down the zipper of her knee length dress.

"Olivia?"

The gray lace hit the floor with a soft whoosh and she stepped free of it, toeing off her black flats in the process. Since her hair was up and she was braless, the only thing that kept her from being completely naked to his gaze was a pair of white lace briefs. Fitz came up behind her and she shivered as his fingertips went over…

"Iowa, Vermont, and Georgia…what do the others mean?"

"Your birth flower is the Lily of the Valley, mine is the red carnation, and the rosebuds represent when and where you first told me that you loved me."

Her tattoo was a series of brightly colored flowers connected by a web of jet black vines. It started on the right side of her torso next to her spine just below where her bra band would rest. The Lily of the Valley framed the rest of the flowers and made a J-shaped curl to stop just where her panties began. Fidgeting with her returned index finger ring, she turned around and swallowed at the blazing intensity of his gaze on her.

"Part of my recovery is keeping a sketchbook and a diary. I drew the design while I was in the hospital in Germany and it's been finished for a month. It took 5 sessions. Do you…do you like it, Fitz?"

"…I love it, Olivia. Almost as much as I love you."

"You _**still **_love me? Even after…"

His warm hands spanned her waist and she rose up on her tiptoes to meet his passionate kiss, matching his ardor.

"Of course I do, Livvie. I will always love you."

"I love you, too."

_**/**_

"…_I dreamt about this. When I was in the Bunker, I dreamt that we were in the shower together and in bed afterwards…_"

Just like in the dream, the shower alcove had been thick with steam and he was now holding her tenderly tight in their rumpled bed. Olivia pressed gentle kisses to the slope of his shoulder, her tongue flicking over the faint teeth marks there. His (ringless!) left hand caressed over her tattoo fondly and his right hand cupped her behind, putting her back on top of him fully.

They had been utterly insatiable for each other. They had literally made love until the sun came up and she had screamed herself hoarse for him, begged for him without shame, cried out her love for him over and over again…

She had spent so long away from him. She had run away from him over and over again, hurting both of them and then…she had escaped Ian's Bunker not just to prove that she could but to get home to him. She had been haunted by regrets and motivated to make up for them all. When she got back to America, she would do things right, she had vowed. She would be her own Gladiator. She would use the same no-nonsense attitude and standard of excellence in her professional life in her personal life. She would no longer be the scared little girl, running away from all the big scary emotions and the very idea that she could be happy.

She would be a Gladiator, not a Bitch.

She would be Olivia Pope.

She would be a better Olivia Pope…

"I'm so sorry that they took you, Livvie. I didn't mean to put a target on your back."

"Fitz, for every Client that I've helped, I've left at least a half dozen people very angry at me in the aftermath. I'm a young black woman whose bread and butter is covering up or fully exposing the dirty laundry of the DC Elite. If it wasn't warmongering, double crossing rutting Republicans, then it would've been someone else with an axe to grind. I'm surprised that it didn't happen earlier, actually."

"…**it won't happen again.**"

"You don't know that, just like I don't know if someone's going to come after you again."

"…how do you live with the fear?"

"By reminding myself that you're here now and enjoying the time I can spend with you."

"Mm…you're going to have to move in with me now, you know that?"

"I can't crash at Abby's forever and I definitely can't go back to my apartment. I don't want to. I should've moved years ago or at the very least, changed my locks."

"Yes, you should've…so, you'll move into the White House with me? You'll be my First Lady?"

"Under two conditions, Mr. President."

"Of course…" he sighed theatrically, making her swat him playfully as he chuckled.

"Shut up, they're more than reasonable. I'm not sleeping in the same bed you shared with Mellie and we're not getting married until the end of your term. I've had quite enough time being a spectacle, thank you very much."

"Done."


End file.
